Self-esteem on Social Media During Menopause
Hi there friends! There is only one way to write this blog post and that is straight from my heart and based on my experience for the last 11 years of being on social media, and even have a presence on it.
There are a lot of wonderful aspects of being a part of social media and also being part of the many groups they have on Facebook for learning, engaging, and simply being a part of. After all, most of us want that sense of belonging and being a part of something. Being connected to other people, and the need to belong may act to protect us from physical illness and emotional distress. We may experience discomfort when this need is not being met, we seek to belong throughout our lives. Hunters and gatherers find power in numbers and a better chance of survival in a group rather than alone. It’s an instinctual need we have learned over time.
The need to belong influences our behavior. This is where my personal experience and self-esteem has been affected over the years. When you put yourself out there, expect the unexpected. It can go well for a long time, until that one, just one person ruins your day with their mean spirit and rudeness. I’ve been called ugly, I talk too fast, I talk too slow, I need to get to the point faster, or I got to the point too fast. Whether it was me demonstrating a recipe or a craft, there were always my hard critics.
I became part of many cooking and craft groups throughout the years. I would share, engage, be helpful, and all the things you want to be a part of in groups and exactly why they are there. As time went on, jealousy among other influencers and even some members became apparent. There were days my share would get deleted, nasty comments, and even times I was blocked and kicked out of groups. I honestly would like to say I did something wrong, such as self-promote, was rude, or inappropriate. None of that was the case.
When I turned 50 is when I reinvented the wheel if you will. I put myself out there and created a brand, a website, and a whole new social media presence. Although a very rewarding experience, with that, came to a price and I was deeply affected many days. I am now 54 and yet again reinventing the wheel, but this time personally. I’ve learned most all of us going through menopause are loving, supportive, and very uplifting to one another. That is what I want to be a part of! How about you?
Self-esteem on Social Media During Menopause
Those days on social media and putting myself out there as a business left me sad, feeling worthless, not liked, and hopeless to ever truly move forward and be successful. In spite of it all, none of that was true. I did prevail and learn to pick myself up, dust me off, and carry on. What did I do to help MYSELF?
*I stopped comparing myself to others! And yes it is just that simple to do. Comparison is the thief of JOY!
* I was taught to put my head down, focus, and control the things I could.
* I created my own groups that were relevant to what I was doing and sharing. In other words, I built my community that I could run and control.
* I accepted others for what they were and are on social media. Yes, there are a lot of keyboard warriors and folks who are sad, depressed and miserable and perhaps going through a hard time of their own. They purposefully look to bring others down. These are no excuses however to be hurtful to others. It’s just something I have accepted to be what it is.
*I’ve watched my own words and reactions. There were times admittedly I reacted to the things people said to me. I don’t do that anymore. Sometimes saying nothing, speaks volumes.
It is important for all of us that are going through menopause to stay connected. We have so much we are going through and it can feel lonely, and at times scary. Anxiety, fear, depression all of it is real. We need to take care of ourselves both physically and mentally. There are times we should step away from social media but overall if you find the right groups, and connections it can be a wonderful experience and very helpful.
Do I still struggle with self-esteem and social media? You bet I do. As of recent even I posted something in a menopause group about an issue I had with my hair color. I use box color and decided it would be fun to add a little deep violet to it. WELLLLLL….instead I got the look of Joan Jet. I went to the group for support and help or suggestions. Within minutes the community was lovely, encouraging, and offered me some great advice. Then in a blink of an eye, the post was removed? Did I break rules? Was it something someone else said? I will never know as I wasn’t notified. However, this was now the second time in that same group something I post has been removed. SMH.
We all have a bad day. Don’t let that define the rest of the day, or your tomorrow. Be the best version of yourself each and every day and I guarantee it will come back to you. Don’t get me wrong, there will be more frustrating days on social media, that can’t be helped. BUT you can control you.
Hey, speaking of which, because I can and will, I created my own Menopause Bitch group HERE, that I would love for you to be a part of. It will be private and anything shared will be among us only:)
Thanks for stopping by today. Hope to see you back at the shit show for a weekly dose of laughter, hot flash on the daily, and let’s not forget itchy, bitchy, crazy, forgetful, tired, sweaty, bloated, and oh so much more!
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